Monday, March 18, 2013

Why Beautiful Heartbreaks?

       So another reason, I believe, why I have had so many blogs but have never followed through with continuing posting in them is because I could never find the perfect URL name.  I didn’t want my name, Crystal Bland, in an address bar and all the other blog URL names that I felt fit me were taken.

     So, the other night while I was laying in bed I was thinking about the Tender Mercies I have received from my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I began to think how I could talk about my belief in my Savior and talk about all the tender mercies He has blessed me with.  So I went to create a new blog (this was before I knew I could change my current blogs name as long as the new blogs name wasn’t taken). Well of course someone had already taken Tender Mercies, even His Tender Mercies, and My Tender Mercies.  So, I began to brainstorm. 
    I am currently reading a book by Brene Brown titled The Gifts of Imperfection in this book she uses a phrase, “beautifully imperfect.”  That phrase stuck with me I went right to my mirror and wrote it on there with a dry erase marker (my favorite writing instrument ever) so I can see this phrase every morning and night.  Everything about who I am is beautiful and because my imperfections are mine and they are my stories, they too are beautiful.  I am beautifully imperfect.  So there it was WRONG!!! This too was taken.  So I again had to brainstorm.

    Finally, I thought of a song my sister-in-law shared with me in October of 2011.  I decided to start typing, "Beautiful Heartbreak." OMGoodness I couldn’t believe it this was not taken I started to get excited.  I absolutely love this song by Hilary Weeks.  When my sister-in-law shared this song with me I had been struggling with the fact that I was not where I wanted to be.  I wanted to be married with children and have my degree as a registered nurse helping other families and individuals.  Instead, when I first heard this song I was unwed and pregnant uncertain of the decision I needed to make for me and this wonderful beautiful little girl I was carrying. This song helped me come to terms with where I was at in my life and where I currently am.  However, my excitement escaped me because again this blog was taken, I misspelled beautiful.  So, I decided to add an “s” to heartbreak!!  FINALLY!!!!  This was not taken.  I am praying that my blogspot’s URL will not be a copyright infringement because this name sums up how I got to where I am, how I became who I am, and how I will continue to grow and become a strong individual.

I have had many beautiful heartbreaks. There have been many mountains in my way and I have had to find the strength to climb them.  I am at the top of one of my mountains right now.  I am able to look around and see more beauty than I ever have before.  I am able to see this beauty because of the Atonement, because of my Savior Jesus Christ.  I can see this beauty because I put my faith and trust in Him and I listened to both He and my Father in Heaven when again I had to make a tough decision.  I was comforted in knowing that my Savior knew my pain and sufferings, He was there for me and he continues to be there for me daily. 

      I am so happy that I get to share my story with others.  I just want to let you know that it may not have great fluidity and sometimes it might not make sense and I apologize, but when I start to write a million thoughts race through my mind.  I will try and learn to take baby steps, one story at a time.  I will be authentic in my writings which means there are going to be mistakes, however, my writings will hopefully show the courage I have been looking for, to share my story and let people know that difficult decisions can be made and you will make it through. Let me quickly share with you my most recently discovered definition on courage, which again is from Brene Brown's book The Gifts of Imperfection. "The root of the word courage is cor - the Latin word for heart.  Courage originally meant "To speak one's mind by telling all one's heart.""  So again with this definition I will be writing with courage.  I will be speaking my mind and telling my story with all of my heart.  I hope you can enjoy any messages and/or stories I share here. 

With love,


  1. Oh my gosh Crystal, I love this. I love you. I'm so glad you shared this and are going to be sharing your life's stories. I look forward to more. I couldn't help the tears from falling when I read this. You are awesome.

  2. I too couldn't help the tears from falling. Crystal, I love the saying "beautifully imperfect", it is beautiful. I look forward to all of your stories, and it is so fun to be a part of your life, even if it is just through your blog. Can't wait to see you next time though. You're just amazing.