Thursday, May 9, 2013

Happy Birth Mother's Day

Let me be honest with you.  A year ago when I first found out about birth mother’s day I thought it was a great concept, however, I also thought it was a day out there to belittle us birth moms and make us feel like we aren’t important.  I remember telling my family that I don’t really want to think about that day I want to be recognized on Mother’s Day.  Like I said though, that was a year ago and also three weeks after I placed my daughter.

This year (especially after talking with an amazing friend and mentor) I realized I LOVE BIRTH MOTHERS DAY!  This Saturday, May 11th is birth mothers day.  This is not a recognized holiday that you will see written on calendars or even see recognized in our society.  This day was created by birthmothers in Seattle Washington (from what I have read online) who not only wanted to educate but more importantly honor and remember those who placed their children in the arms of another mother who had been waiting for the long arrival of her child.  This group in Seattle first met the Saturday before Mother’s Day in 1990.  Thank you to this community of women that gathered together to honor what they did for them and their child.

It wasn’t until I had a conversation with a friend that my eyes were opened to Birth Mother’s Day and how this can be a day of celebration for me.  On this day not only do I get to celebrate the day I became a mother, but also the day that I became a strong individual and did what I felt was best for me and this beautiful little gift from my Heavenly Father.  Here is a quote from a video that has been circulating which I will also include below.  It says “Every time a child is born, so is a mother.”  How true that statement is.  I am not the mother that tucks her in at night, kisses her good night, or even jumps up and down with her in the morning when she wakes up.  I am the mother that was able to care for her for 9 months, protect her, nurture her, and help her grow until she was able to go home with her mother and father.  I wish I could write what my heart is trying to say but I have never been a class ‘A’ writer.  My birth daughter made me into who I am today.  She changed my life for the better.  How can someone so tiny, precious, and small change my life in a matter of seconds after meeting her?  My words would not be able to explain how, but she did.  When this little girl cried for the first time there were two mothers that were born.  These two mother now have a strong connection, an eternal bond that I pray will never be broken.

 I have posted a video a couple of times from Bravelove and I must say who ever wrote the words wrote them so well.  I love what this little boy says. 

“Not every mother can be a mom and not every mom gets to be a mother...maybe every once in a while a mom and a mother will find each other and join hands and be for the other what they can’t be for themselves. Cause even if she's not ready to be a mom, a mother can be strong and brave.  She can turn 9 months into a lifetime and a couple into a family.”

That is my favorite line. “she can turn 9 months into a lifetime”  That is so true.  I sang to her and talked with her.  I talked to her about life and love.  I told her that things aren’t going to be easy but it is true what they say “it is worth it”  I turned those 9 months into a lifetime. I am again grateful to have a day separate from Mother’s Day.  I get to acknowledge my little blue butterfly on a different day and then when I am married and have my children I will get to be blessed with mother’s day.  I will have two special days.  Two very special days.

To all those that have placed Happy Birth Mothers Day on May 11, 2013.  If you know someone hug them, honor them, and don’t let them forget what an amazing selfless act they did.  Then hug your Mom’s on Mothers Day and let them know how much you love them and you are grateful that they are your mother. 

With love,


Here is a poem that someone posted on my FaceBook wall last year on Mother’s Day.  I thought this was beautiful and explains two different kinds of love.

Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother
Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears
One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.
Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?
Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.

—- Unknown

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